Right, so last December I'm out doing a bit of Christmas shopping, I'm wandering through the town centre, minding my own business – generally browsing up a storm – when all of a sudden this greasy little guy breaks away from a passing group of teens, stops dead in his tracks, points straight at me and shouts, "Ha! Check out Pete Doherty, man!" Now he had caught me slightly off guard to be honest, so I just sort of stood there for a minute staring blankly back at him as he triumphantly lapped up the weasely cackles coming from his band of cronies, before eventually slipping back in amongst them and shuffling off into the distance.
Anyway, thanks to the Eighteenth Amendment of The Constitution, alcohol was finally banned in the U.S by 1920 and pork pies were to follow suit a year later when it was discovered that some bootleggers were soaking the pies in hooch and allowing customers to suck them dry before eating the evidence. To strengthen their case for widening the ban, the authorities hastily commissioned and released a flawed (and since disproved) scientific study, identifying the pork pie itself as a powerfully addictive opiate. Hence just as the outlawing of booze had lead to the creation of underground drinking clubs, so the clamp down on pies lead to the invention the pork pie hat. First credited to infamous bootlegger and mobster Johnny Toenails in 1923, this new variety of hat allowed people to safely transport illicit pies down to the local Speakeasy without fear of arrest, simply by positioning them under the hat (leading to the popularisation of the expression 'keep it under you're hat.') The genius of this new design was it's low centre of gravity and narrow brim, which meant there was little chance of the wind catching it, blowing it off and exposing your crime, as was known to happen in the early days of those daring enough to attempt to 'snack stack' as it was called, under a top hat for example.